Comments for After Death Home Care | Ann Arbor MI | Green Burial | Home FuneralAfter Death Home CareAnn Arbor MIGreen BurialHome Funeral

Comment on Chapter 8, What do Families Want? by Donna B.

Donna B. — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:08:01 +0000

I love the description of “blended care – a preplanning consultation with a home funeral guide, a home funeral carried out by the family alone, and cremation handled by a funeral director.”
I don’t think a home funeral is right for everyone … but I think everyone should know they have a choice whether it’s an entire home funeral, or blended care.

Comment on Ch. 7: Focus on the Threshold Care Circle by Maxine K.

Maxine K. — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:09:37 +0000

Reading about the history of Threshold Care Circle made me feel hopeful. Realizing that new(old) ideas brought to our communities do take time to settle in and it takes time for us to know how we want to get started on this path….Your interview with Charlene Elderkin also was very enlightening..again reading just how she and her TCC established themselves. Appreciate the comprehensive ‘appendix’ valuable resources.
Once again hearing what you have to ‘say’..appreciate each new chapter.

Comment on Chapter Six, Staying Healthy by Maxine K.

Maxine K. — Thu, 03 May 2012 19:59:17 +0000

As with energy work,we must know how to ‘stay healthy’ while doing our work…physical,mental,spiritual and emotional require our attention for wellness and grounding. As you mentioned sharing with others certainly is a positive way to voice what you’re feeling and what you have gone through so you can verbally process with those that have an understanding of what that might be.
I think following a spiritual practice that fits you is very important…that daily renewal and contact with spirit opens hearts and minds for seeing the best throughout the day…and certainly a factor when placed in situations of high emotion and stress.
So appreciate your ideas that you are sharing with us and how they can be of help to us….

Comment on Chapter 4, Professionalization by Charlene E.

Charlene E. — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:29:31 +0000

You make a very good point when explaining what a “profession” is. We do need to be proficient in certain body of knowledge and we do want our communities to recognize that and respect what we do, and yes, compensate us for that or the work is not sustainable. I personally like the term Home funeral consultant rather than guide, it makes it clearer that our role is an advisory one.

Participating in the NHFA is one way to participate in the professionalization process and let our opinions known. But there is another level – that of doing good work, which over time earns your community’s respect. So a combination of working as a national group and as a local entity is how we at TCC are participating and influencing the process.

Comment on Chapter Six, Staying Healthy by Merilynne

Merilynne — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:21:45 +0000

Thanks for sharing this, Charlene. I can relate to what you are saying. We become so attuned to the circles of life and death – our portals are more open, so to speak – and we become more affected by hearing of a death, even if it wasn’t a close friend or acquaintance. This is a very meaningful way to address our own needs as sensitive people and take care of ourselves, even as we acknowledge and bless the flow of life to death of someone else.

Comment on Chapter Six, Staying Healthy by Charlene E.

Charlene E. — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 23:01:42 +0000

A couple years ago I started noticing that I was being affected by deaths of people that were NOT ones I was personally involved with. Because these were not people I knew, rather people that were known by others I had a connection with, it took a while for me to figure out that something unusual was happening.

The symptom I noticed was an overwhelming sleepiness, which made it difficult to function in my work life. My theory is that somehow I was connected to the energy when someone in the community died, but if I was not directly involved the impact was more unconscious. After discussing this with a friend, I created a ritual.

Now when there is a death in my close and not-so-close circles, I light a candle and recite a verse that address the deceased by name, thanks them for their life, and encourages them to go to the light. When a friend tells me their mother or sister has died without naming them, I will ask for their full name, and tell the friend I will light a candle for their loved one. I keep a supply of candles on hand so I always have one.

This has become a very sweet ritual for me, which seems to have resolved the issue.

(The Prayer I use is on Page 148 of StarHawk’s “The Pagan Book of Living and Dying.”)
Charlene Elderkin

Comment on Chapter Five: Women’s Work by Donna B.

Donna B. — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:04:40 +0000

I think it is sometimes better to learn from a “professional” rather than a relative. The “professional” will know a variety of ways of approaching something whereas a family member wouldn’t have the same breadth of experience. There is value in both family member and professional.

Comment on Chapter Three: Building Positive Relationships by Louise D.

Louise D. — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:41:05 +0000

I also live in a small town. I have found our funeral director to be wonderful. Most of my home funerals also use a funeral home. Mine will go anywhere if I need him. It is not me against him, but we work together to meet the people’s needs and that works. When I got an opportunity to speak to groups I also cover the power of attorney for health care, disposition of my body form (new in WI) and genreal information on power of attorney for fiance. I sell the forms for $2.00 printing cost and than go into all type of funerals ending with home funerals. This has opened up many more doors for me in the community. I also did one that I invited the local funeral director to talk on prearranging, me on home funerals and had the medical examiner come in. It was great… Held it at the local library. Enjoy this work and will keep expanding.

Comment on Chapter Three: Building Positive Relationships by Maxine K.

Maxine K. — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 17:51:01 +0000

Another excellent chapter you shared with us. So delighted you are also having a bigger outreach with TV,up north connections….
Just wanted to share,I’m also from a rural town in the MI’Thumb’…one funeral home…like wise for each little town in a 20 mile radius.
I saw our funeral home director outside the post office shortly after our workshop so mentioned to him I would come and have a chat with him about his feeling on home funerals and the like…when I make this next step I will share what transpired…

Comment on Chapter Three: Building Positive Relationships by Merilynne

Merilynne — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 23:58:48 +0000

I am interested to know what others have to say about this. It’s a special challenge in rural areas where there is only one local option for a funeral director. I have the advantage in a metropolitan area of having several to choose from. I’d like to hear from someone in a rural area who has been able to build a positive relationship with the only funeral director around.
Those who are in a state where the family can do everything have the advantage that they don’t have to work with a funeral director. But what if the family wants to work with a funeral director for certain aspects of the care??? Then you still need a supportive funeral director. I think that as the home funeral movement grows, more people will be wanting this type of hybrid, or blended, care.